Pandemic diary 34: Home haircut goes wrong

"Going anywhere nice on your holidays?" Who needs years of training?

"Cut me off…" called the piece of straw at the end of my plait.

It's been 14 months since I last had a haircut as a birthday treat. Three and a half years since I let it grow and stopped dyeing it. It's probably the longest I've ever had it. I call it my austerity hairstyle. I really have probably saved a few hundred quid in haircuts since 2016. (That said, I do like going to the hairdresser's when I can afford it. Who doesn't love the chance of a reinvention?)

"Cut me off, it'll be shorter but it'll look better… go on."

Just a quick snip and three inches of splits ends could be gone. So I got the kitchen scissors and cut.

The end of the end.

As I unravelled my side plait it did look good. But then I brushed out my hair and realised it was totally lopsided, ie, three inches shorter on the plait side. Obvious when you think about it.

"Pete! Help! Can I borrow you for a minute?"

Worried, not worried.

And that's how it came to pass that Pete became my lockdown hairstylist. I was slightly worried as he really doesn't like long hair and I could hearing the crunching of the kitchen scissors behind me. But he did a pretty good job…

Pete 'Scissorhands' Sassoon.

Of course, when I dried my hair and brushed it forward, the front bits were longer than the back. Again, obvious when you think about it. So I took the scissors and snipped from the front.

And here we are. A bit Edward Scissorhands. But it could have been a lot worse.

Let me show you the back, madame.

Thanks x3

Today I am thankful for three things:

  1. A nice lady on the Rea Route pointing out a thrush who sings every evening by the trading estate bridge – what a gorgeous songbird.
  2. Weirdly, a guy who looked like the dude who buzzed me yesterday on the same route, cycled past and said 'Thank you very much' when we moved out of his way. I really hope it was the same guy.
  3. Received a call from an long-time friend (25 year anniversary soon) in that London. Peter has left his sub-editing job after, well, decades in the media business, and is now working on some very interesting projects with the daughter of Vincent Price and others. He's looking for test cooks for a co-authored 'Vincent Price Co*Star Cookbook" – details here. And he's running online Zooms and Q&As with Victoria Price as part of the Vincent Price Legacy Tour– sign up here. Good luck, Peter!

Commission/hire me: fiona [at]

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