One of the things I've wrestled with during and post-sabbatical is that I'm a generalist. I'm interested in many things. Here are a few of them, not including family and friends, who deserve another big pocket of time:
…art, rabbits, Stirchley, writing, photography, diary mining, bushcraft, animal tracking, composting, ballet fitness, collage, reading, ukulele, walking, ASMR, sunrises and sunsets, trips away, dementia befriending, the politics of data, the practicalities of privacy, tai chi, surfing, bodyboarding, diving, ageing, stargazing, snowshoeing, drawing, publishing, origami, MOOCs…
The list goes on and on…
Often I get temporarily obsessed by some solo female traveller/adventurer or global photojournalist or fit-at-50 Instagrammer (cue another list:
@corinneredfern, @smillieonsea, @jasonflorio, @megan_hine, @missholldoll, @victorilou, @womenandwaves, @jannerobinson, @goodbyecroptop, @baddiewinkle and @nickheyward – yes, the Haircut One Hundred dude, who has muscles and a nice life, although he's no @renner4real or @samneilltheprop.
I guess these are the new media models we aspire to (or rather fail to live up to). I get inspired but then feel limited because hiking, photographing, adventuring or just looking Instafabulous is their singular focus. There's no room for anything off-brand. Choosing one thing to be, no matter how fab, means saying no to the wild panorama of other things in the scene, my scene.
And so I desperately try to find connections and overlaps between my peculiar combo of interests just so I don't go mad. I've taken to whiteboarding my life just to get it out of my head, print it off and then rub it all out.
I think feeling overwhelmed is due to the inability to make some hard decisions about what to do first. As my sister points out, it's good to have choices. It's also good to make them.
The past few months have felt like receiving a year's total of work and having to sort it into something I can get my head around. Where to start?
A word came to me while swamped in the interests mire: SEASONS.
'Seasons' is a looser, more easygoing and less worky word than priorities or commitments. Like some longhaired hippie supervisor, a seasonal focus allows me a time to write and a time to create (my two main conflicts at present), and these gently overlay the daily necessities of health, fitness and meeting financial commitments.
So I decided to spent the summer season writing and the autumn season on art stuff (I'm calling it pre-art).
Of course, as soon as I decided to put writing first, I met with my art mentor (yes, I have an awesome art mentor) – and she rooted out some really interested ideas.
So, I've now got a few backburner art tasks to break up writing season. And I'll likely do some editing and proofreading and learning about e-publishing when art season starts in the autumn.
My plan may not be Instagram-sexy but it's a pressure drop.
If I've been out of touch recently, this is why.